Jam
by piratesquared
Summary: Sherlock fills the bath up with jam. Then helps distract John from the mess.


"Sherlock!"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, barely even slammed the door before his flatmate had bellowed down to him. He took his sweet time removing his coat and scarf, making sure they were hanging comfortably near the door before slowly ascending the stairs.

It wasn't that Sherlock wasn't looking forward to a confrontation, or that he even particularly wanted to annoy John even further. It was just that John got annoyed about so many things.

Sherlock entered the main room of the flat and found it empty. So this wasn't about the 'mishap' with John's jumper then. The kitchen was empty too, clearing the washing up occurance from the list.

"Sherlock!"

Sherlock's head flicked up, Bathroom then.

...Oh, God. The Bathroom.

He approached the door just as John looked up, and his stomach thumped at the stern look on his face.

"Sherlock..."

"John?"

"Explain to me, simply now, why on _Earth the BATH is full of JAM_."

"It's an experiment."

"an experi- Sherlock! It's a bath full of bloody jam!"

"Well you would never have let me fill it full of blood." Sherlock shrugged.

John just stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes, "the Hansworth case" "of course" "...the one you said you'd solved last night." "the very same" "... Sorry so why exactly is the bath still overflowing with jam?" Sherlock stared at him for a second before rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, "it blocked the plughole"

He felt as much as saw the scorn on John's face, holding back a wince at the look on his face. "so let me get this straight, you've filled the bath, blocked the plug and quite possibly buggered up the plumbing ... With jam." "apparently, yes"

"Sherlock let me ask you something, has any of part of your _obviously_ superior intellect figured out a way to get rid of the jam?" Sherlock frowned at the insult, "we could eat it?" He offered.

Okay he probably deserved that look.

Two hours later, and another 'heated discussion', (which was rather one sided if you were to ask Sherlock), they had managed to scoop the majority of the jam out into bowls. And two buckets, and Mrs Hudson's best dishes (They'd make it up to her. Well John would, Sherlock didn't want to risk another emotional outburst like the lost earring incident).

"what I don't understand," John started . Dropping his spoon to rub his eyes, "is how you got all this bloody jam in here in the first place". "I brought it." Sherlock said simply, re-rolling his shirt sleeve where it had come loose. "How much did you buy?" Sherlock rolled his eyes, oh John. "I got a bulk tub John, standard restaurant commission."

"...so where is this actually bloody incredibly useful tub now?" "Ah, err I threw it away." Sherlock was just raking in the glares today.

"Look...I'm sorry alright?" John flinched but said nothing, though the slip slop noises his hands made in the full up bucket increased. "John?" he sighed, "I heard you Sherlock." "Yeah well I am sorry, for filling up your precious bath and you know, solving a murder". The cup John was using to even out the jam went with a splash as he threw it down into the bucket, Sherlock avoiding the resulting splatters that escaped. "Its not that you... You know what Sherlock? I'm not letting you off on this one, you've gone too far with this." He kicked back off the floor, throwing himself into a slump against the wall.

Sherlock watched him quietly for a moment before shuffling over next to him. The men were still as John stared at his hands, Sherlock regarding him quietly. "John," "what Sherlock?" He frowned at the annoyed tone but continued, "you've got some... Jam you've got, no on your chin just, let me..." Sherlock reached over, wiping the jam from under John's chin with his finger, John froze as his fingers moved to caress his jaw, before lifting his hand to his mouth to lick off the offending spread. John visibly swallowed, "I'm still mad at you" "I know."

Sherlock glanced at the nearest bucket, "you know actually I think I preferred it the other way..." "What do you, Sherlock!" he yelled as Sherlock flicked his hand in the bucket, sending jam flying all over John, "I'm not playing Sherlock, seriously." "ugh, fine."

Sherlock moved to stand but stopped as he felt something wet his arm, looking down he saw the reddish purple sludge trickling down his arm, a glance at John caught him just as his tongue flicked out to catch a stray bit on his lip, "mmm, s'nice" Sherlock couldn't have agreed more.

"a jam fight, really John?"

"you started it"

"fair enough" Sherlock knocked his foot against the bucket, John laughing as he barely avoided a soaking, it was infectious and Sherlock soon found himself giggling along as the two threw handfuls of jam at each other.

Soon enough the bathroom had been covered in a red/purple paste (vast improvement in Sherlock's opinion), and the boys had relocated to the main room when John chased Sherlock with a handful of jam, tackling him to the floor and smushing it in his face before collapsing next to him.

And that's where they were lying now, Sherlock staring at John as he recovered from breathless laughter.

Sherlock reached over to run his finger through a streak on John's cheekbone, but before he could repeat his action from earlier John caught his hand and brought it to his own mouth, taking it in whole as he swirled his tongue around, cleaning off every last bit of jam.

Sherlock's groin gave a solid twitch of approval.

"John," he groaned, John moving to lean over Sherlock, he leaned up expecting a kiss but was surprised as John detoured to his jaw, pressing a kiss to the bone before sucking on a patch of jam just under his ear. Sherlock groaned louder, his head falling back on the floor as John followed the sweet trail down Sherlock's neck. He pushed Sherlock's collar down, giving his collarbones even more exposure as he licked a line along one, stopping to nip at the dip in between. Sherlock's hand moved up to grip John's hair, unknowingly rubbing jam all through it, John stopped and shook his head, "sorry" he shot a not very convincing glare at Sherlock then dipped his head again, this time sucking and nipping his way back up Sherlock's neck.

As John's hands moved to pin Sherlock's hips to the floor he became aware of how one sided this seemed to be. Not that he particularly cared but if he was being tortured to almost full arousal then it was only fair John was too.

He willed himself to grip John's shoulders, pushing him back into his eye line. "What?"

"My turn."

Sherlock pulled him close, taking a nip at John's bottom lip and claiming entrance as he ran a hand down John's back to grab firmly at his arse. It was John's turn to groan as his mouth was fully assaulted by Sherlock, who was casually squeezing his behind in a gentle rhythm with the strokes of his tongue. The lazy hum that had been floating around his groin was now buzzing urgently, demanding instant attention as Sherlock's hand slipped over, sliding down and between John's legs.

John's head fell back with a hard thump as Sherlock took a firm grip of the hardening bulge between his legs, moving to suck beneath his jaw as he started rubbing circles over his jeans.

A groan escaped John as Sherlock's hand pressed harder, dragging delicious friction right where he wanted it. "Sherlock..." He half moaned as he pulled at Sherlock's shirt. Sherlock let go as John's hands fumbled with his buttons, managing to get half of them open before Sherlock had enough. Pulling John up on to sit on the floor, he grabbed his jumper and tugged it up, John just realising in time to raise his arms as he was yanked over his head.

He didn't even complain as it was thrown into some unknown area of the flat, instead grabbing Sherlock and pulling him in for another kiss. Their mouths opened easily, tongues quickly pushing against each other to gain dominance. John's hands balled up in Sherlock's shirt, the last couple of buttons now straining more then ever at the force. Sherlock managed to free John's hands, quickly ridding himself of the shirt and moaning as John's hands started to run all over his chest, one trailing a shiver up his side as the other moved to pinch a nipple.

Sherlock retaliated by dropping down, biting John's collarbone and sucking a nipple into his mouth. John groaned loudly, a hand moving up to Sherlock's hair and gripping it tight. "Sherlock...please, just..." Sherlock stopped to look up at John, "please, what John?" a frustrated moan fell from John's mouth as he closed his eyes, hands dropping down to Sherlock's belt and giving a meaningful tug. "Oh," Sherlock met his eyes with a wicked smirk. "Lie back," John fell back onto the floor, opening his fly as Sherlock pulled off his shoes, kicking his own off after. He grabbed John's jeans at the thigh and pulled them down, a sharp thrill running down his spine at the sight of the straining underwear underneath. "John... I never knew you loved Jam so much," he smirked at the look of disgust on John's face, "Oh shut up."

He lent down to claim John's lips, their mouths pressing firmly together as John reached down to undo Sherlock's trousers. He faltered against John's mouth as John pulled his zip down and shoved his hand inside. "Oh God, John," he groaned as John gripped hard, rubbing Sherlock purposefully through his underwear. Sherlock's head fell to John's shoulder, biting a mark into the skin as John's actions started to have an affect on him. He managed to push back up onto his knees and away from John's prying hands. John whined, and reached out for Sherlock. "What do you want John?" "What do you think I want?"  
>Sherlock smirked, and slid a hand slowly down his chest, dipping it down into his trousers and taking a firm grasp of himself. "This maybe?"<br>A deep rumbling groan escaped John's throat as his head fell back again. "GOD Sherlock, please?" Sherlock smirked again but removed his hand, shifting to slide both over John's chest, bending for a kiss before taking off on a trail down his body. John's hand found purchase in Sherlock's hair again, guiding him to what felt the best with a squeeze or tug on his hair. He gripped painfully hard as Sherlock reached his hipbone, tugging down his underwear to run his tongue over it, biting hard where it dipped down just above the soft fuzz leading to his groin. John was breathing deeply, his eyes squeezed shut as Sherlock sent sparks through his body.

Sherlock gave his thigh a pat and John opened his eyes, raising his hips so Sherlock could pull his underwear down and off. John gave a slight gasp as the chilled floor came into contact with the skin of his now bare arse, and Sherlock stifled a laugh. "We're not doing this here." "Is your little bottom cold?" "Sherlock!" "Ugh, fine." He struggled to his feet and held out a hand, pulling John to his feet. He backed John up across the room with a firm grip of his hips, John almost slipping on his forgotten jumper then colliding with the sofa, falling down onto it. Sherlock soon followed him, leaning on his knee over John, their mouths meeting again. He shifted as they kissed, palms flat on John's chest as John's own returned to his trousers, attempting to push them down off his hips. He was distracted as Sherlock deepened the kiss, sucking hard on his tongue. A garbled moan escaped John and his hands flailed at Sherlock's trousers. Sherlock slipped from John's mouth as he laughed, "Okay John, God..." he grabbed John's insistent hands and held them tight at the sides of his head. He bent to kiss him again, John spreading his legs so Sherlock slipped down between them, raising his hips to rub himself against Sherlock's crotch. Sherlock groaned despite himself and let go of John's hands to palm himself through his trousers. John groaned, his mouth open at the sight and Sherlock smirked again.

"You're desperate for it aren't you?" John whined, reaching out again for Sherlock. "Please..." Sherlock ran a finger down John's chest, pinching his hip before sliding down and curling a hand around him. John bit down sharp on his lip as Sherlock's hand started a lazy rhythm up and down his length, a sharp twist at the base made John shout. So Sherlock did it again, over and over until John was fitting on the sofa, hands gripping the armrest above behind him, his skin shining with a thin layer of sweat. Sherlock let go of John, moving to run his tongue up the centre of John's stomach, dipping in his navel and delighting at the noise it provoked.

He bit gently at John's tummy, before shifting to look him in the eye. "Do you want it John?" John nodded desperately, "I need to hear you say it. Say it for me John, tell me what you want." John whined loudly, "Sherlock, please...God I need it. Will you please just do me." "Do you how?" Sherlock didn't know how he was sounding so calm, his body was shuddering with need as John became ever more undone in front of him. "Sherlock. Just, get in me. Please get in me. Now." Sherlock's eyes closed for a moment at the force of the shudder that ran down his spine, whipping around his insides and making his cock twitch hard. He opened his eyes to see John staring at him, his pupils were wide and a second shudder ripped through Sherlock at the sight. "We need...Oh God." He glanced around him, looking for anything that could substitute the lube he didn't want to fetch from the bedroom. Suddenly his eyes hit on one of the discarded buckets, and he sat back on his heels. It took the most will he'd ever had to use to force himself to keep a straight face as he suggested to John, "You know...we could use the jam?" The look on John's face was more then worth the effort and Sherlock damn near howled as John looked like he was about to throw up. "What, Sherlock fuck off!" "John, oh God I was kidding, John your face," Sherlock cracked up again and John folded his arms across his chest.

Sherlock managed to calm himself and reached over to John's arms, "I am sorry my love, I couldn't resist." John slowly loosened his arms, Sherlock rubbed one as he lent over to peck a kiss against John's lips, "so that's a no to the jam then?" "Oh Sherlock shut up and bloody shag me already." Sherlock smirked and slipped down the sofa, giving John's cock a quick lick before standing and heading swiftly for the bedroom. John had barely recovered from the shudder Sherlock's actions had left him when the man himself returned, their trusty lube clutched tightly in his hand. He quickly moved back to his position on the sofa, the two rearranging themselves until he was comfortably between John's legs. He squirted a liberal amount onto his fingers, running them around John's entrance before pushing one inside. John barely had time to adjust before Sherlock added a second, and then a third, stretching and preparing John with practised ease. "Sherlock..." Sherlock crooked his fingers, and John practically keened up off the sofa. "Oh God Sherlock, that's...just, please. Now. Oh God." "What John? What do you want, love?" "In. In now."

Usually Sherlock couldn't stand improper speech, but John's complete incoherency during sex had become a major turn on for Sherlock, and now it drove him crazy. He removed his fingers as quickly as was possible without causing pain and pushed his trousers and boxers down to his thighs, lining himself up with John. He made to wrap John's legs around his waist, but John shuffled down further on the sofa, throwing one up over Sherlock's arm, who bent so it could hook over his shoulder. He pushed his nose against John's, nuzzling their lips together, "Okay?" "Mm. Do it, please?" Sherlock nodded, pecking his lips once more before pushing inside him. A deep frown spread over John's brow, and Sherlock stilled for a moment. It never usually took John long to adjust, they'd been doing this for long enough now, but Sherlock always gave him time. Soon enough John's features relaxed slightly, and he nodded to Sherlock, who started up a gentle rhythm with his hips. John whined and tried to match the actions, pushing back against Sherlock as he pushed forward. John's eyes suddenly shot wide open as Sherlock hit the spot deep inside him, "Oh God, Oh there. Right there." Sherlock didn't need telling, he'd long learnt John's insides almost as well as his outsides, but he obeyed, snapping his hips dead on twice and taking John's moans as a hint to speed up. john's grasped for a purchase on the sofa, one hand gripping hard at the backrest, the other moving to grab Sherlock's bicep. Sherlock groaned as John's fingers dug hard into his skin, his desperation pushing through the skin, swarming around inside him and mixing with his own painful arousal. His hips reacted in kind, thrusting harder into John as John's head fell back. His moans fell into an awkward rhythm with Sherlock's thrusts, growing louder every time Sherlock was fully inside him, trailing off as he pulled out only to build back up again every time he returned.

"Sherlock...God, can't last..." "Mmm" Sherlock could barely voice his agreement, his mind swirled with need, lust throbbing throughout his body as John's heat overcame him. He gripped hard at John's hip, grabbing the thigh of the leg up over his shoulder and thrust forward with everything he had left. John lay flat on the sofa, knuckles white on Sherlock's arm as he moaned loudly, his hips shuddering as they attempted to compensate for Sherlock's abuse. "There...oh, Sherlock...Oh God". John couldn't hold on any longer, a loud drawn out whine escaped him as he came, thrashing on the sofa as his orgasm was ripped from deep within him, Sherlock watched captivated, his hips moving of their own accord as John's come splashed up between their stomachs, mixing with the sweat on their skin. Sherlock knew he wouldn't last much longer now, hips thrusting at an almost frenzied pace as he chased the elusive high that had just taken over his friend.

John looked groggily up at Sherlock, seeing the pain of his arousal on his face he gathered the last of his energy and pulled him in close with the leg still wrapped around Sherlock's waist, tightening his muscles as it pushed Sherlock completely inside him. Sherlock groaned obscenely as the feelings overwhelmed him, and came with a breathless, strangled moan that sounded something like a name, hips smacking a bruising pattern against John as he released deep inside him. Sherlock's legs buckled and he fell forward onto John, pulling out of him and releasing his legs. John let loose a wince as Sherlock's weight pressed down on him, absently recognising his lover's release start to move inside him.

They lay silent for a while, slow movements allowed them to find a position that was most comfortable, ending up with Sherlock spooning John on the small sofa, leg hooked up over his thighs.  
>"God, John..." Sherlock said at last, John's eyes were closed but Sherlock knew he wasn't asleep. "What?" He mumbled, "Well...I just never knew you felt that way about jam."<p>

John was quiet for a moment, "Sherlock?"

"Yes, love?"

"Just bloody shut up about the bloody jam, would you?"

Sherlock laughed deeply, burying his face down into John's neck as he pushed back against him.

"Anything for you, John."


End file.
